as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We don't watch enough power rangers
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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