Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
