We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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