I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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