I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
