Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize