Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
