Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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