Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
