I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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