Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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