he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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