How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
