He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
