So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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