Sponge bath it is.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
