I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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