Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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