I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
