Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
