You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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