the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
