you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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