these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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