the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
