The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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