Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
