We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize