Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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