do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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