BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
what day is it and did you see me today?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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