i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
