You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
