Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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