idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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