He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
