Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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