Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
