Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
