Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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