it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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