I'm going to jail i love you
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
