just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
