im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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