Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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