i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
