You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
