Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
