Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
