First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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