i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
