I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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