Just cropdusted the office
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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