i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
