I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
