In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize