I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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