escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
