Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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