Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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