hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if only i could text you this smell
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
