When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize