I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
