were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
