We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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