She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
