No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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